Losing a career can seem like death. The resulting grieving process is similar to that following the death of a friend or loved one. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross has outlined five stages in the grieving process for a loss after death and they are similar for grieving after involuntary retirement: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

• Denial: You can't believe this is really happening. You feel paralyzed.
  
  
• Wrath- Once the shock has passed, you begin to feel angry at your company, supervisor, and the world. For many retirees, work is how they define themselves. When this is taken away from them, they feel frustrated and angry that they have lost their identity.
  
  
• Negotiation- You may want to try and get your job back, even with reduced pay, hours, or responsibilities. This rarely works.
  
  
• Depression: feelings of hopelessness and helplessness take over and the future looks bleak.
  
  
• Acceptance: When your anger and depression are no longer consuming you, you accept your new reality and begin to develop plans to make the most of your life.

Each individual goes through these stages at their own pace and can go back and forth through some of the stages.

Managing Your Life After Retirement

The first step in handling the life-changing event of retirement is recognizing that you are not alone. You are allowed to cry. Take time to sit down with the feelings.

Talk to your spouse, friends, or other family members. You can ask them to listen, but let them know that you would prefer that they not give you advice. Only you can find out what comes next.

Don't rush to do something out of fear. Impulsive actions don't always turn out as you expected. Now is the time to think and feel.

And breathe! Relaxed breathing is one of the best tools for dealing with stress. Decrease your heart rate and anxious thoughts. I like a simple breathing exercise of inhaling through your nose for a count of four and exhaling through your mouth for a count of four. That focus keeps your mind occupied instead of dwelling on your worries.

It helps to practice relaxation breathing for a couple of minutes twice a day. Then use it whenever the stress of your situation feels overwhelming.

Making time for the "time of worries"

Another useful technique for dealing with anxiety is called "Worry time". Schedule 15-30 minute time each day to worry. (Avoid bedtime, as it can interfere with sleep.) When a worry comes up at other times, tell yourself to save it for your worry time. During worry time, allow yourself to worry as much as you need to, and then let it go until the next day.

This is also a good time to start a journal. Write down any thoughts and feelings that come to you. Let it be a "Mind dump". If you have an idea, a dream or a passion, let it flow. These thoughts and feelings may become a point of reference for you at some point in the future.

Once the feelings and emotions associated with your new situation have been assimilated, action is a good antidote to anxiety and depression. Most people think that action requires motivation. In truth, it works the other way around.

Small steps, not big

Take microsteps. It's too overwhelming to imagine yourself changing your entire life. If isolation is one of your fears, first make a list of people you could meet for lunch; then make a date with someone (anyone).

If you don't know where to start finding volunteer opportunities, choose an interest from your journal and start by Googling volunteer opportunities in your community. Every little step brings you closer to achieving your goals.

Find structure in your life

One of the scariest feelings about being suddenly retired is creating structure in your days. You may want to write the hours of the day with a blank space next to each hour. Then begin to complete what an ideal day would look like. It's a useful benchmark even if your actual days don't accurately track you.

Try to do a daily activity that makes you feel like you've accomplished something. And get out of the house so you can find a community to replace the lost social commitments provided by your work. People find new communities through faith-based organizations, classes, volunteering, and exercise programs. The choice is yours.

Passions and searches

You can rediscover or find new passions that you never had time to pursue. You will have time to improve your health and well-being. You might even decide to explore new job possibilities now that you are in control of how much you want to work. It can also be a time to take classes in areas of interest.

Once you find your balance, you will discover that retirement doesn't have to be an end. It can be a time for personal growth and self-realization, a new commitment to life, and rediscovered dreams.

This article is excerpted from The Retirement Challenge: A Nonfinancial Guide from Top Retirement Experts by members of the Retirement Coaches Association.

This story is part of our partnership with Next Avenue. Next Avenue is the first and only national public media journalism service for America's growing elderly population. Its daily content offers vital insights, context and perspectives on the issues that matter most as we age.